HOW DO I FEEL?

WELL, HE'S ON MY MIND AND IN MY THOUGHTS.  I TRY TO THINK ABOUT WHAT THINGS WOULD BE LIKE WITHOUT HIM, BUT I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE.  I THINK ABOUT BEFORE I KNEW HIM.  I WAS SURVIVING THEN, BUT I HAD NOTHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO - NOTHING TO HOLD ON TO.  IT'S WEIRD THAT I CAN FEEL FO SULL WITH LIFE AND WITH POSSIBILITY AND ANTICIPATION, BUT FEEL SO EMPTY AT THE SAME TIME.  I GUESS IT'S BECAUSE I'M ALONE IN MY THOUGHTS.  I WISH HE WOULD SHARE HIS....OR MAYBE I DON'T.  SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH.  MAYBE I COME SHORT OF EXPECTATION AND I FEEL INADEQUATE AND DISAPPOINTING; LACKING IN SOME WAY.  SOMETIMES I GET EMBARRASSED WHEN HE LOOKS AT ME, AND SOMETIMES, WHEN HE LOOKS AT ME, IT'S ALL I NEED IN THIS WORLD.

WHAT DO I WANT?

IS THIS A LIST?  OR DO I HAVE TO STAY ON TOPIC?  WHAT IS THE TOPIC?  OK, SO, I WANT WORLD PEACE.  HA!  I WANT TO BE AT PEACE WITH THE WORLD.  WHEN YOU'RE FACED WITH GREAT LOVE, MENIAL CONFLICTS - EVERYDAY CONFLICTS WITH WORLD - SEEM SO...MENIAL.  LIFE IS MORE THAN THAT.  I WANT PEACE.  IN THE LITTLE THINGS, IN GREATER THINGS....PERFECT PEACE.

I WANT TO SEE HEALTH AND HAPPINESS FOR EVERY ONE IN MY FAMILY.  THEY HAVE TOILED SO MUCH AND IT'S TIME THAT THEY EXPERIENCED HEALTH AND HAPPINESS AND PROSPERITY IN EVERY AREA OF LIFE.

I WANT TO BE A TANGIBLE AND EFFECTIVE HELP TO MY PARENTS.  THEY SURPRISED ME IN LIFE BY GIVING ME MORE THAN I EVER NEEDED.  I WAS ALWAYS FED AND CLOTHED, BUT MORE THAN THAT, I WAS GIVEN LIFE GUIDANCE AND A STRONG SPIRITUAL EXAMPLE.  I AM ALWAYS SO PRU\OUD AND HONORED WHEN I AM TOLD I HAVE MY FATHER'S DETERMINATION AND VISION, MY MOTHER'S GRACE AND CHARACTER.  THEY HAVE NEVER FAILED IN BEING LIVING EXAMPLES OF THE PERSON I AM TO BE.  THEY HAVE GIVEN IT ALL TO ME AND I COULDN'T LIVE ENOUGH DAYS ON THIS EARTH TO REPAY THEM. 

FOR MY FRIENDS I WANT UNITY AND LOVE WITHIN THEIR FAMILIES AND I KNOW ONE DAY SOON I WILL BE ABLE TO WITNESS THE ACHEIVEMENT OF ALL THEIR HARD WORK AND SACRIFICE.  THEY HAVE LIVED OUTSIDE OF COMFORT BECAUSE THEY HAVE ALWAYS TRIED TO LIVE OUTWARDLY, WHAT WAS WITHIN.  THEIR SACRIFICES TODAY WILL CHANGE THEIR FUTURES.

FOR MYSELF I WANT WHAT I NEED - HEALTH....I'VE NEVER STOPPED BELIEVING THAT YOU WOULD RETURN TO ME.  AMBITION, BY DEFINITION - MY ASPIRATIONS AND DREAMS....I HAVE LET MYSELF BE CRIPPLED BY MY CIRCUMSTANCES FOR TOO LONG.  VISION....TO LET ME SEE EVERYTHING I'VE BEEN BLIND TO, AND TO SEE BEYOND MY OWN EXPECTATIONS TO THINGS GREATER.  PEACE....I MAY BE REPEATING MYSELF HERE, BUT I REALLY NEED SOME PEACE, IN ALL AREAS.  INSPIRATION....TO COME FROM THE MOST UNEXPECTED OF PLACES.   AND TOMORROW.....I NEED TOMORROW TO FINALLY COME.

I NEED SOMEONE IN MY LIFE TO LOVE.  FOR SO MANY YEARS I THOUGHT I KNEW HIM, I THOUGHT I LOVED HIM.  BUT NOW, FINALLY, I SEE YOU.  (IT'S YOU.....I WANT YOU)